Final Post-dont know why its dbl spaced, swear its not as long as it looks. Plus youve made it this far, are u really not gonna read the last post....

Leaving California was odd. And when I say odd, I mean as in not what I expected. But then again, I should’ve expected this because life never ceases to surprise me. I don’t know, I guess I thought I would be crying and clinging to my couch, slowly walking with leaden legs, thinking of every reason NOT to get on the road. But for some reason, I kind of was the opposite. I asked my mom to have my apartment packed up by the time I was back from KTLA and an interview I had, and I single handedly loaded up my car with speed that my dad would’ve been proud of. I then suggested we grab In-n-Out and eat on the road instead of having one last sit down dinner like my mom suggested. I also noticed that my personality had hardened a bit, to the point where I was a bit snappy to my mom and giving her attitude, which is not normal for us. All of the above…very odd.

So there I was, on the 101 South, mom behind the wheel, me staring out my window in silence. What is even more odd is that I knew exactly why I was having this odd behavior. Once on the road, with no busy activities to distract me, my psychology classes could not escape me, and I knew what was up. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but it always seems that, for me at least, when something is wrong, I take it out on the person I am closest with, my mom. She’s even told me this before. I once read that we’re not afraid to hurt or be mean to people that we know truly love us because we trust them and trust that their feelings and opinions about us wont change…a.k.a, they’ll love us unconditionally, no matter what, no matter how we treat them. It’s kind of weird to think of it that way, but I think that is true. Sometimes we displace our emotions on the person we know will be a punching bag…..a punching bag that will forgive us when we take off our gloves and swallow our pride and apologize. But at any rate, after putting everything together, I realized that I really think I was afraid to say goodbye to California. I know that sounds corny, and maybe it is. But when we crossed the border and California summer ’09 officially became a memory, I turned and apologized to my mom and finally cried the tears that were long overdue. And that’s how I know that the hardened, fast paced exterior I exhibited earlier was just that…an exterior. I’ve never been one to hide my feelings and not be honest to myself or others about what I was feeling, good or bad, so that’s why, as I started with, leaving California was odd.

But this summer was perfect. It was everything a summer should be: full of adventure, spontaneous, exciting, a learning experience, a bit scary, and fun...

I recall the night before me first day at KTLA, when I couldn’t sleep because I was so nervous about the next day. I wanted so badly to do well and impress everyone at the station, that the unavoidable fear of failure that most passionate people have was getting the best of me. Thankfully, my mom was in Cali still at this point, and, as she always does, she calmed me down and eased my nerves, reminding me of how much work I have put into my schooling and myself thus far in my life that will no doubt lead me to being a success at KTLA.

Well, it must really be true that every battle is won before it is even fought, because Mom was right, this summer was a success. Though I came away with a substantial amount of newfound knowledge, I know the tool belt I entered with really solidified my path, and I thank my family and my educators for that. Everyday, I promised myself I would go to KTLA and smile like I knew how to smile, laugh like I knew how to laugh, and work hard like I knew how to work hard, because those are three defining things about me that I am really proud of: my optimistic outlook on life, my not-funny-but-somehow-still-seem-to-make-people-laugh-jokes, and my work ethic. If I brought that to the table, no matter the outcome, I would consider the summer a success. Well, it seemed to pay off, because from exchanging numerous business cards with producers and anchors to being offered an intern spot at KTLA next summer to landing an interview at FOX Sports to discuss potential internships as well, I am back in Missouri with the same smile, laugh, and work ethic…plus a whole lot more I am so thankful for. I really do believe in fate, but I also really do believe that it is possible to make your own luck, or at least try and set yourself up to be lucky. From the contacts I have made to the inside perspective of the industry I now have, I think I am on my way.

As I was saying goodbye to an editor at KTLA that has really taken me under his wing and been a mentor to me this past summer, he told me he wanted to leave me with one final piece of advice. He said that there are three things that anyone can do in life to be truly happy. He said to wake up each morning and aim to accomplish them, and at night, when you are alone with you and your thoughts, reflect to see if you actually did: 1. Each day, go towards who and what makes you happy 2. Each day, try and steer clear of who and what will cause you pain and 3. Try and do both of those things without hurting anybody else. Always the impressionable sponge, I really took those words to heart. In fact, I had a whole 25-hour drive to think about that, and it makes a lot of sense. I had a whole summer of glimpsing the career I hope to have some day. And now I have a whole life to try and achieve that. And in doing so, I will remember, as my mentor at KTLA wisely told me, that a successful end only tastes sweet if the means were honorable. In this industry, especially, there are too many “shortcuts” and “easy roads”, but I have never been one to be impressed by those types of means. I think those three things to attempt every day were probably the best knowledge I am taking away from California. Because, after all, happiness-true happiness- seems to be the thing that eludes most people, so any advice on how to attain that should be valued.

Well, I’m back in Missouri. The sun is a bit too hot, the air a bit too humid, and the ocean a bit too far away. But my friends and my family have never felt closer, so I can say I am happy. And there is something really comforting and cozy about this good 'ole state of Missouri. The blog days are over. To anyone who read this, thank you very much. Good luck on a new school year. Until we meet again, Cali…goodbye. :)

My First Red Carpet Experience

Before I finish writing and post my final blog, I wanted to update you all about what was THE highlight of my summer in LA...

My second to last week in Cali, the entertainment anchor at KTLA couldn't attend the movie premiere of Bandslam, Vanessa Hudgens' new movie. So, my producer asked me to go in his place and cover the event. Interviewing celebrities on the red carpet is something that I have always wanted to do (it is my dream job, afterall), so I was the most excited I have been in a long time. To prepare for the event, I researched all the actors in the movie: their biography, past roles, current jobs, and future films...not to mention their role in the film Bandslam.

Once arriving in Westwood for the premiere, I saw the red carpet rolled out, the media lining one side of it, and hundreds of fans behind a gated area holding signs and screaming. Once meeting up with my camera man, I shot a standup, which is an intro of the event, which went something along the lines of "I'm Bianca Goutos reporting for KTLA in Westwood at the Premiere of Bandslam, waiting for the stars to arrive.....etc". Lining the media side of the red carpet were reporters from different stations and magazines, ready to interview. All of a sudden, a limo pulled up and an announcement was made over loud speakers that Vanessa Hudgens had arrived, followed by screaming fans. This continued to happen for the more well known stars, as other smaller celebs made their way on the carpet without introduction. Among the celebrities present at the premiere were Vanessa Hudgens, Lisa Kudrow, director Todd Graff, Selena Gomez, and Aly Michalka to name a few.

I am a big Disney fan, so it was very exciting for me to get to interview Vanessa Hudgens and the other Disney stars. When I interviewed celebrities that were in the movie, I asked them questions regarding their character, such as to give a description and if they were like their characters at all when they were in high shool (which is when the movie took place). I asked the director what made this movie different than all the other Disney movies that are out lately. I also asked him to detail Vanessa Hudgens' audition process, and how much stock he put in her High School Musical performance. (I had read earlier that week in a magazine that she came to the audition with no song prepared, with the mindset that the director should just watch HSM to hear her voice, so of course I was curious to get Graff's perspective on this). He said he made her sing for him, because though she was right for HSM, he wanted to make sure she was right for HIS movie. When it came time to interview Vanessa, I was told to steer clear of any Zac Efron or nude photos questions (the interesting stuff aka lol), but I did ask her if she felt competition with all the other young girls on Disney who have been on the rise lately. Also, the day of the premiere, John Hughes, the director of such teen classics as Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles died. Bandslam was mentioned as a throwback to such teen films, so I asked her how she felt about Hughes death in relation to her film, to name a few of my questions.

After the red carpet, I got to see the movie, a week before it was released in theaters, just a few rows behind Hudgens and the other stars. Overall, it was a very exciting and eye opening experience. I was able to have a glimpse of the job I hope to have someday, and it definitely confirmed that I indeed want a career as a journalist.

Later that week, my mom and two of her best friends, Joanne and Annette, came to visit me. They were my last opportunity to tour the city and show people the place I had called home for three months before I left for the midwest (the east coast as so many Californians kept referencing Illinois and Missouri lol). Joanne and Annette flew back, and my mom stayed to drive back with me. Final post coming in a few days, as soon as sorority recruitment dies down. Cant wait to get a new Theta pledge class :)

Two Weeks Left...

Last Monday, I filled in for our entertainment booker, Heidi. Her duties include corresponding with publicists to choose the talent that comes on our show and then meeting and greeting them and taking them to and from hair and makeup and preparing them for their interview/performance. I have been in charge of logging screenings for her ever since I started, so I have seen a lot of the industry from her perspective, and I have become increasingly interested in the PR side of things. I think it is beneficial to have an interest/skill in every area of communications/journalism, because you never know where one job will take you. We only had one guest when I was filling in for Heidi, reality TV star Megan Hauserman. She won the third season of “Beauty and the Geek”, was in “Rock of Love”, and just finished filming her own reality show “Megan Wants a Millionaire” set to air this Sunday, August 2. I greeted her and her publicist, took her to hair and makeup, and sat in the green room with them until her interview. As I talked with them, I learned all about the filming of her reality show, details about her premier parties in Vegas, and what it was like searching for “Mr. Right” in front of the camera. It was intriguing to get behind the scenes info. I truly enjoyed taking Heidi’s place for a day. I love meeting new people and learning new things, and that pretty much epitomizes the job of entertainment booker.

I have been playing hostess the past week and a half, and I loved it. Within the last few weeks, I have left the touristy “I’m on vacation” stage and genuinely feel like I’ve always lived here in Cali (just as I’m leaving…), so it is fun and easy to show visitors around the area...

My sister, Alexa, and her boyfriend, Tony, came to visit me last weekend. It was so nice having family here. I absolutely love living alone, however company is much appreciated every once in a while. Throughout the course of the weekend, we went to Ketchup (Ashton Kutcher’s restaurant), Laguna Beach, Zuma Beach, and I showed them around Hollywood. Friday night, we went to MyHouse, where we met Vanessa Minillo, Nick Lachey’s ex girlfriend. Seeing that nothing is ever simple with me, of course my encounter with her was not a simple one either. It started when I stepped on her foot as she was walking past my friends and I as we were dancing. Yes, I WOULD step on her foot, right? There's a reason my parents didn't name me Grace. I apologized and she was extremely friendly about it. Then, later on, my sister and I went up to her and asked to take a picture with her. She proceeded to tell us that her publicist didn’t want her taking pictures at bars, what I personally think is a line she uses to get out of taking pics, but it’s all good. We talked briefly as my sister and I told her how big of fans we were and how beautiful she was. She told us we looked like twins, etc, talked for a minute or two, and that was it. A few minutes later, Alexa started taking pictures of her. What happened next all happened very quickly and simultaneously so it sounds kind of confusing. But all at once, someone jokingly jumped on Vanessa and her dress came up, Alexa continued snapping photos, and Tony took out his phone to send a text. Of course, what did it look like??? Tony took a picture of Vanessa’s skirt up lol. So then the owner tried to take Tony’s phone. I went up to Vanessa and explained what really happened (I have a star struck sister who is clearly an LA newbie lol sorry Lex), and one of my friends who knew the owner clarified the situation, and it all ended fine. On her way out, Vanessa came up to Lex and I and apologized about the picture fiasco and for not being able to take a photo with us. Oh, a day in the life….never a dull moment…

One of my best friends from home, Tara, visited me for a week, and we had the time of our lives. I introduced her to my friends out here, and from day one it was a nonstop good time. From hitting clubs in LA to boating on Pyramid Lake to pool parties in the Valley to learning how to surf, Tara’s first time in LA was nothing short of fabulous. We visited Cal State Long Beach, where she hopes to go to grad school in two years. For a week we did nothing more than enjoy beautiful, sunny weather, tan, and plan what our lives would be like if we are ever fortunate enough to become successful out in Cali as planned. Between cocktails, we also couldn’t help but wonder why no one has come up to us, like they did Lauren Conrad, and ask us to start our own reality show. J We both agreed our lives were interesting enough to definitely be TV worthy: Young Chicago gone Missouri gone Cali girl living in Hollywood trying to become an entertainment news anchor…..Her fun and wild friend who wants to work for the Lakers goes to grad school for sports management in Long Beach. The girls live together and face life on their own….The show would follow them on their journey through all this, capturing all the fun, and also all the trials and tribulations of young life in LA….

Ok, ok, maybe it sounded better over a pina colada. Maybe it sounds too much like the Hills, but whatever it is, we had one heck of a good time that week. And we plan to keep enjoying Cali in the years to come. Who wants a bunch of cameras following them around all day anyways….;)

Last week I had a breakdown on the phone with my mom when I realized I only had three weeks left in this paradise I’ve been living in. Now I’m down to two weeks. Scary? Yes. Saddening? Very. I’ve noticed that when I drive places (nobody walks in LA fyi…and I mean not even down the street), I have recently been in a different state of mind. You know how you can hear someone but not really be listening? Well, I have begun to make sure I'm not only looking, but seeing. Not that I’ll never be back, but I’m going to be distanced from this place for a while now, and I want to make sure its image is branded in my memory. Just an interesting observation I have noticed about myself recently. But I’m not even going to begin to write about how much I will miss California. Not yet. I’m a glass-half-full type of girl, so I’m going to enjoy these last two weeks.

Till next time, XOXO B

SURREAL

Surreal. That’s the word I choose as the theme of today’s blog. Because, in all honesty, there have been numerous happenings in the past few weeks that have been, for one reason or another, just that: surreal.

In the wake of so many deaths in Hollywood, being out in Los Angeles for it all has been surreal. I was at KTLA the morning Farrah Fawcett died, and the station was crazy. In preparation for what sources had predicted, we had a package prepared to air in case she did die that morning. Of course, so did every station. Not a minute after we found out, we turned on five TVs to different channels, including our own, and it was intriguing to see what each station had prepared, airing all at the same time. Let’s just say "this is a competitive industry" is no understatement. Hours later, I was on Rodeo Drive with my mom on the day before she was leaving me to go back to Chicago, and I got a text from my sister, “Michael Jackson died”. I literally thought it was a typo. As I left the station earlier that day, I knew MJ went to the hospital because he was under cardiac arrest. But death? Hours after Fawcett? That afternoon, every single person I passed by on Rodeo Drive was talking about his death. That is no exaggeration. The following true picture I’m about to paint was surreal. The shiny store windows glistened as though the world lost nothing that day, housing unrealistically priced items floating in a quaint and honestly rather unwelcoming silence. Yet outside-in reality-in the fresh air, the buzz of Jackson’s death swarmed the streets literally like bees. That’s how it was all over LA. When I say it was everywhere, I mean it was everywhere. It was surreal.

The night MJ died, his star on Hollywood Boulevard was covered because of the Bruno premier, so hundreds of people were crowded around the “fake Michael Jackson star” on Vine street, just outside my apartment building! This “fake” MJ was apparently a radio personality, but, since the pop icon’s star was covered, fans chose to mourn around this faux star for the night. I saw it from the pool balcony; it was crazy. There were candles and posters and signs and flowers. I found it surreal to witness with my own eyes how many people’s lives Michael Jackson had touched in his lifetime.

I went home for the first time since I have been out here. Unless I go home for Labor Day, I will not be home until Thanksgiving Break, so it was really nice to see my family and friends. I must say, the first thing I noticed in Illinois was the flat land. I definitely missed looking up at the mountains. But I also missed my family while I was in Cali, so I would travel to the flattest of land to be with them. My dad made a good point when he jokingly asked, “So Bianca, where exactly do you consider home? Chicago, Missouri, or LA?” His joke unintentionally invoked some serious thought, because that is a good question. I am in Missouri for the longest time out of the year, but I was born in Chicago and that is where my family is, yet I have this odd sense of belonging when I am in California. Your guess is as good as mine, for I still haven’t answered that question. I know Chicago is my "home" as far as my roots, but regarding the literal meaning of the word...a bit tricky as of late. All I do know is that, wherever I end up living, I’ll always have a home in Chicago, and I would like a house in California and also one on the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri, because a part of me is and always will be in each of those places….not a lot to ask for right? ;) On my flight back to Cali, I had another moment when I realized-for some reason it really clicked then-one of my dreams in life was coming true this summer. Growing up, all I ever talked about was “Hollywood”. I even wrote a poem about me living here someday when I was about ten. And here I was, at the age of 20, living there. As I downed my second helping of Oreo cookie crackers, I looked out the window and thought to myself, this is surreal.

My mom is back in Chicago, and I have since been living on my own. And I must say that this, my friends, is surreal. Never before have I had to take care of myself. Never before did I not have someone who loved me and cared whether I actually lived or died within about a 5-foot radius. Think about that. That’s quite drastic, but it’s true. I once thought, if there was a fire tonight, would anyone check to see if I even woke up to escape? While I have made friends here, the answer to that question is still probably no. Now I’m not saying this to sound depressing, its just highlighting what is the foundation of my independence here in Los Angeles: I am living, authentically, on my own. From grocery shopping to laundry to cooking to cleaning to fixing a sink (yes, with some direction from my dad I did that)-I am doing it all. That may sound like normal things people do, but honestly it isn’t for me. But I swear on my life I am enjoying every minute of every chore. I have never cared so much about dropping crumbs on the floor or a fingerprint on a mirror. Mom, don’t be mad at me for saying this, but when you are the one cleaning, you keep it clean. Similarly, I have noticed I am more responsible with my money now that I earn a paycheck from Victoria’s Secret. Dad, don’t get mad at me for saying this, but when you are the one working, you watch your money. I am learning to appreciate everything more, which I know is invaluable. As though I am looking at myself over the years, I can see myself maturing with my newfound wisdom. Like I mentioned in a previous post, you never know what you are capable of until you have to rely on yourself to get it done. This has taught me that, contrary to what most people think, if the stakes are high enough, humans ARE capable of change. You just have to want it bad enough, and it must be from internal motivation, not external. Independence and self-maturation are some things I have always wanted in my life. Not that I ever doubted myself, but sometimes I wondered if I was capable of more. It sure does feel good to prove yourself wrong.

On a lighter note….before my mom left, some friends I made here took us both on our first LA club scene experience. We started at Katsuya, one of Hollywood’s nicest and most famous sushi restaurants. My friends picked us up in a party bus/limo, so when we arrived at Katsuya, the TONS of paparazzi standing outside went crazy. That, lets all say it together…was surreal. Once inside, we saw Mila Kunis (Jackie from that 70s show) and friends leaving, which fostered a lightning-like portrayal of flashes outside. After Katsuya, we went to MyHouse, one of the hottest new clubs in LA. One of the guys in our group used to do security for clubs so he knew one of the bouncers, so we got right in, no line at all. Once inside, we were escorted to our table that we were sharing with…wait for it…Chris Evans of Fantastic Four! I had always thought he was so cute, so this was definitely surreal! Long story short, my mom and I got to experience the hottest club in LA, a night we will never forget. I’m glad she was there with me.

I worked at VS this afternoon, and this evening I went to my first Piloxing class at the V Pilates Studio. Piloxing is this new craze in Hollywood created by Viveca Jenson. A combination of Pilates and boxing while wearing one-pound gloves (and wearing no shoes!), it is a favorite of stars such as Hilary Duff and Amanda Bynes. I had read about it in at least three different magazines, so I decided I had to see what the hype was all about. Boy, did I see! That was the hardest I ever worked out by far. As I looked around-between squats and crazy punches- the intensity of the instructor and the women around me was surreal. It was the most unique blend of hardcore boxing and challenging Pilates, all done to the latest hits playing so loud that you couldn’t help but be focused and motivated. Knowing the celebrity following Piloxing has definitely is impressive. The class concluded with us striking three different poses while yelling the Piloxing motto: Sleek, Sexy, Powerful. I am definitely getting the membership, because I know I want to keep taking classes. I also met Jenna Hoyd there, who was in The Missing years ago and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants as the young girl who died of cancer. I recognized her right away, seeing as I love that movie. Her mom worked at the studio and also took classes with Jenna, so they both got me all signed up and explained everything to me.

I just booked my flight, I am traveling to San Francisco this weekend to meet some relatives I didn’t even know I had there! After that, I would have visited all the places I wanted to in California. Should be a good time.

Hmm what else. I have thus far met, in addition to what I have told you already in previous blogs: David Charvet, Fran Dreshcer, Chris Evans, and Jenna Hoyd. One thing I do notice about myself is that the star struck phase is diminishing. In this business, I know you cannot be star struck, so I think it is good that I am getting this out of me now. Honestly, this may be common sense, but the more celebrities you meet, the more you realize they really are normal people. Yes, like I said, you may be thinking “Duh, B.” But, trust me- acting calm, cool, and collected-in the beginning-is easier said than done. I am getting to that point, though. You would be proud. :D

Well, I know this is only short story material, and I was really aiming for novel, but I can’t think of anything else to say. I will try and not take so long to write the next post so it is not this long again. For anyone who read all the way down and got to this point, you’re a trooper and thanks. Headed down to the pool now, have a great day. :)

XOXO B

LIGHT BROWN TEDDY BEAR LOST: IF FOUND, PLEASE GIVE HER BACK ;)

The greatest thing happened at KTLA today. I was asked to go along on a shoot! I went with a reporter and camera man to interview this up-and-coming singer, Caitlin Crosby (download her on Itunes btw, she's phenomenal....gonna make it big someday, I'm calling it right now). These are called Music Spotlights. KTLA actually did one on Britney Spears way back when, before she was famous. Who would've known....We went to Caitlin's recording studio and, after the interview, saw her perform one of her hits.  There are two more Music Spotlights coming up for two more artists. I am going with for the interview Wednesday, and then this Thursday they are sending me alone, just the camera man and I. So I will set up and conduct the interview, and put the package together all on my own. This is adding tremendously to my portfolio; I am so glad they asked me to do this. 

A few days ago, I met Karissa and Kristina Shannon....Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends! They were interviewed on our show, and I took them from the set to the green room after the interview. We were able to talk for a few minutes about life at the mansion and my obsession with the Girls Next Door lol, and they answered about 80% in unison! It was hilarious. Overall, they were very nice girls. 

As if California wasn't perfect enough already, I found something else to love about it: San Diego. My mom and I went there a few days ago, and I fell in love. The downtown area is so clean and beautiful; I love all the restaurants and night life. There was something else very comforting about San Diego, it's hard to explain. I never thought I would say this, but there is something refreshing about a place that is so beautiful, yet without the emphasis on glitz and glamour and celebrity. Don't get me wrong, that scene fascinates me in LA, but, as I blogged about before, I don't think that is something you would want to be around forever. 

Well, I'm exhausted, time for bed. Sweet dreams everyone. xoxo B

P.S. I forgot to mention that something bad actually did happen in SD. But I can't blame the city itself, its probably my fault I guess. ;) I left my teddy bear, Bella, at our hotel. :( Seemingly minor issue unless you're someone that sleeps with it every night...like I do. Still waiting to hear back from the hotel to see if she was rescued before being thrown into that smoldering tornado otherwise known as a washer and drier....poor bear, never saw it comin'. 

CMT's tonight...

Getting ready, Victoria's Secret all day....gotta work to make a living! It's gonna be crazy busy since the semi-annual sale just started. 

Country Music Awards on tonight, I've been waiting to watch this! Can't wait to see Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler perform.....and hopefully win some! Have a great day, I'll write more when I have more time! :)

xoxo B

CALIFORN-I-A

From Victoria's Secret to KTLA to spending time with my mom, life has been very busy, which can only be good.  I am enjoying VS more and more. The last time I worked, I actually sold so many bras they said they want to make me a bra specialist! Ha, it is definitely entertaining helping both men and women shop in that store. The stories are endless,  as are the lines now that the semi annual sale is starting!

I have learned how to use all the editing equipment at KTLA now. Sam, the entertainment anchor, told me that the most beneficial thing I could take away from this internship is if I can learn how to use Final Cut Pro, an advanced editing system, which I happened to learn today. I know I am fortunate to have all this editing knowledge, because a journalist needs to be well rounded. Though I ultimately want to be in front of the camera, I am glad I know the work that goes into making the anchors look good. Having that knowledge is what makes anchors appreciate what their crew does for them, and it makes them more respectful in their requests and demands. Starting at the bottom makes you more appreciative if you ever are lucky enough to make it to the top. 

Speaking of the top of a really tall mountain, California is absolutely beautiful. From the mountains to the ocean to the sun and the weather, California seems to have it all. And if you have heard thats it's very lax here, your absolutely correct....if your NOT talking about driving! Some of these drivers are crazy! Didn't think I'd feel like a grandma this young  ;) Downtown LA/Hollywood area is definitely very crowded. In fact, there are "carpool" lanes on the highways for cars of two or more, encouraging car pooling and subsequently less traffic. This lane is always smooth sailing, which is great incentive to drive in it. Actually, I guess they make "car dummies" to sit in your passenger seat so you dont get pulled over if you want to drive in the car pool lane by yourself. Strange yes, but it takes all kinds, right...??? 

I have come to learn that most natives dont live in the heart of LA, but rather the outskirts, and through travel, I have come to understand why. LA and Hollywood is great for what I am doing now: a young girl in her 20s interning/working/getting the Cal experience, but if I ever decided to live here, I would definitely want to live in the outskirts, where it is more tranquil and peaceful. My mom and I were driving around in Malibu, for example, and it is so serene there. Up in the mountains there are beautiful homes, rolling mansions, 30 acre horse ranches, etc....all placed on lots of land overlooking the ocean: a priceless view.  Even my dad (who hates crowds/loud settings/large groups of poeple....weird I know, considering he owns  a nightclub-and is married to my mother lol) admitted that, though downtown was a bit much for him, he would love to live in the more low-key parts of California. It's hard to explain, but there's something about the way the sun reflects off the ocean and the mountains stare down at you in tranquil intimidation that really connects you to this place. 

She works hard for her money ;)

Today was my first day of work at Victoria's Secret. This is only the second job I've ever had (I worked on and off  at Abercrombie and Fitch in high school), but I actually enjoy working. That might sound weird, but there is definitely something to say for making your own money. It's a very empowering feeling that I am glad to have. 

My mom  has been in Vegas with my dad for their anniversary, so I have officially lived on my own. Talk about another empowering feeling. I have come to learn that you often times dont realize what exactly you are capable of if you have always had someone taking care of you. It's kind of nice to see what I am able to do on my own. I'm surprising myself. 

My parents will be back tomorrow; my dad only for a few days, and my mom is staying a bit longer thankfully before she goes home for good.  I am looking forward to seeing my dad, its been almost a month now. They'll be back tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be able to show my dad around LA (yes I actually have grasped the city already, ANOTHER great feeling) because he has never been to Cali. 

Well, Im going to get to bed, I have to be up in about 6 hours. Yes, that's right, this blog is SHORT! Hey, there's a first for everything ;)

xoxo B

A "dreamlet" come true :D

Everything is going great at KTLA so far.  I am starting to really understand the newsroom process, and it all actually feels like second nature already. Some very exciting and noteworthy events have taken place since my last blog....

Today, a mini dream came true, a dreamlet if you will ;)....I met Peter Facinelli, aka Carlisle Cullen from TWILIGHT!  I have always wanted to meet a member of the Twilight cast. I was able to meet him after his interview, when he was walking off set back to his dressing room. I asked to take a picture with him. He actually reached out to shake my hand and asked my name, following up saying "It's very nice to meet you, Bianca". I don't think I was breathing as we took our picture together! These details may seem superfluous, but I know my fellow Twilight fans can understand where I am coming from. ;) Also, last Friday I met Marilu Henner. She complimented me on my white wedge shoes and told me she had the same pair, something I was of course excited about!

Today I was given an important job to carry on the rest of the summer. Our Entertainment Booker, the one who decides what celebrity guests come on our show,  constantly receives emails from publicists regarding upcoming movie screenings. Screenings, which take place before the movie hits theaters, can be for cast and crew or for critics. Our anchors need to know about these screenings so they can see movies of celebs they are interviewing in the near future, so they know some info about that new flick. Our booker decided to put me in charge of keeping track of all these movie screenings this summer. She'll be forwarding those emails to me,  on my new KTLA email account, which I will use to create a detailed chart of the date, time, and location of each upcoming movie. I will mass email this updated chart to the entertainment producers and all the KTLA anchors twice weekly. I will even be able to attend the screenings as well! I was both honored and excited to be chosen to do this. I am a detail-oriented person, and I love being in charge of projects. 

Yesterday, Sunday, my mom and I went to the private cast and crew screening of "Imagine That" at Paramount. This was such an experience. We were able to see this movie five days before it even hits theaters. Afterwards, I met Yara Shahidi, the little girl who stars opposite of Eddie Murphy in the film. I also saw Murphy's stunt double, who literally was a clone of the actor himself!

Maybe it's because of all the plays and musicals I have performed in since practically birth until high school, but I have such a respect for film and acting that seeing the behind-the-scenes absolutely thrills me. At Paramount, I saw numerous Stages on the lot. These Stages looked like big warehouses, yet inside them was nothing but space to build sets for different movies. What fascinated me the most was the "tank".  I saw this extremely tall and wide sign (about 6 stories high maybe) that looked like a sky. On our tour of Paramount, I learned that the parking lot in front of this wall served a dual purpose. When taking a second look, you can see that the parking lot is indeed under ground, like an in-ground pool if you will, about 5 feet deep. This potentially fills up with water to shoot water scenes with the big sky wall as the background. Imagine a huge parking lot size pool full of water against an enormous backdrop! Light and colors are used to create night/lightning/etc. For example, Titanic (not a Paramount film, just an example) was filmed in a  tank such as the one I saw. 

What a time it's been so far! Everyday at KTLA is an adventure. I never know what to expect when I walk through those doors in the morning. With every day comes some newfound knowledge about the business or about myself, and I love that, for that is the purpose of this internship. I have met so many people of different professions in just the past few days-from director to producer to actor to anchor to editor-all of whom seem to love their lives, which is what matters most: happiness.  Seeing all these successful people having the job type that I hope to have one day is encouraging, for I know they too started at the bottom.  Hearing how they began  as interns at one station or another hoping for that seemingly impossible position that I am hoping for goes to show that no dream or goal in life is ever too out of the ordinary. I mean, why shouldn't we dream big? At the end of the day, is it really fulfilling to settle for something mediocre, be it personally or professionally? Yes a fake success story can be told, and a fake smile can be worn, yet we're the only ones who know whether or not we did try our hardest. No dream is too far fetched, too idealistic, or too unrealistic. If the goal is too attainable, and you dont even have to jump to get it, was it even worth the grab?  As Olympic rower Anita Defrantz said, "Your goal should be out of reach but not out of sight." 

KTLA

Today was my second day interning at KTLA, and I absolutely love it! From the moment I stepped into the Entertainment office, the other intern and I were put to work, and I loved that. The producers treat the interns with a substantial amount of respect, and that is giving us remarkable opportunities to learn about this business.

Yesterday was a day of learning. I learned how to file tape into the computer database to create a VO (voice over), and also how to search the video database to find the tape. For example...we received word early this morning that actor David Carradine had died today. After checking sources and confirming truth in this remark, we set to work. We had to search the database for video of Carradine to file into the computer, edit, and thus turn into a VO, which is the video viewers see as the anchor talks about the subject. Keep in mind, this was all done on a deadline, which makes the process stressful yet exciting. I also learned how to dub a tape, which is nothing more than making a copy of a segment of a video for whoever asks for it. Yesterday, Gloria Gaynor's publicist called us asking for a tape of Gloria's recent interview/performance on KTLA, so I found her in the video archives, created the tape, and packaged it, addressed to Gaynor's publicist!

 Another exciting opportunity came when our entertainment anchor, Sam, came into the office yesterday on his way to interview Brooke Burke and asked if I could make him a little journal with "My Thoughts About Brooke" on the cover, as a joke, making it seem like he kept a diary about the beautiful actress/model. Using my classic cursive, a pink marker, and my signature decoration of hearts, I had a final product he went crazy for-and actually brought on air with him as he interviewed Brooke!

Tomorrow, our celebrity guests are Marilu Henner and Kevin Nealon. The interns were given the opportunity to write the scripts, so, after conducting extensive research on the star,  I created an intro/interview questions for Henner. This was a great chance to put my writing skills to use. 

Today, everything I learned yesterday was put to the test. From the minute I arrived at the station at 5:24 am, (my new motto: to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be forgotten) there was never a dull moment. One thing I have learned thus far is the fact that there IS never a dull moment in this industry. There is always a new movie, an awards show, a junket, a death, a publicist asking us to have their celebrity as a guest on our show, etc. We had countless videos to file as per request of the anchor. Then, upon hearing about Carradine, we had to get on top of that story and try to be the first to break it. You always want to be the "first on, last off". I was enjoying myself when suddenly a news station's worst nightmare came true: our filing system crashed.  

Immediately, problems arose. Without the ability to file video, you cannot create VO to air during the broadcast. Little did I know how this would connect to me....I was working on my Henner interview questions when the entertainment producer told me Sam wanted me to make signs with the words she gave me on them and meet him on set. Without thinking, I grab paper and markers and make my best block letters to date, when I hear "Bianca, Sam needs you on set" over the station speaker. Barely coloring in my last letter (keep in mind I had minutes to do this, aka my first deadline) I ran across the lot to the set. As I walk in, the director and camera crew are all excited to see me, beckoning me by them with smiles on their faces. Next thing I know, I hear "Oh there she is, cmon up, Bianca" and I see Sam beckoning me on set. 

As I walk up to the steps, I stand where I am told and realize that there is indeed a red light on the camera pointing at me-I was ON-AIR!!! Let me explain....due to the technical difficulties we were having that day at the station, the whole morning show was a bit messed up because we were unable to have VO. So Sam decided to make a joke about this to make the station look better and have someone hold up signs next to him where the video usually is! And he asked me! It was THE coolest thing, let me tell you. They were all joking about the mishaps today, which is something that I believe makes KTLA stand out, for they were truly making lemonade with the lemons they were given today. And boy did it taste good. I had so much fun up there. Granted, I was but holding a sign, but I can't explain that feeling I get when I see the cameras rolling in font of me. Just being on that set, in the company of these talented and extremely successful anchors, was an honor to me. At the end, Sam mentioned how I was from the University of Missouri, and I said "Go Tigers!". :) 

If nothing else, this was a great way to get known around the station, because the rest of the day, everyone kept commenting on my little on-air "gig". They thought it was hilarious and that I did very well for my KTLA debut. 

  

Other exciting events of the day was the full tour of the set. I saw the "green room", where celebrity guests wait before the show. I also saw the dressing room where the anchors get their makeup done by professional makeup artists. Next to that was the private celebrity dressing room. I also attended the post-show meeting, where the anchors and other employees gather to reflect upon strengths and weaknesses of the show. Any Miley Cyrus fans reading this??? Well, I learned that "Hannah Montana" is filmed on our grounds! The Disney filming studio is next to KTLA. I guess people often see Miley coming and going seeing as she uses the same guard entrance as KTLA employees. 

Well, it's 4:00, and I am exhausted! Not only did I intern yesterday from 5:30 am to 1:30 pm, but I had a Victoria's Secret orientation last night from...wait for it....3:30 to 930 at night!!!! I applied to a few places in LA, because I wanted to work out here this summer on some of my days off, and Victoria's Secret hired me, something I  am very excited about. Circling back to what I was saying....the orientation was so long because we learned everything about everything in one night. So by the time I got home, ate dinner, and went to bed, I believe I only got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. Then I was up at the station at 5:30 am to do it all over again. 

But I am not complaining. I wouldn't change anything. I enjoy it so much that I am actually going in tomorrow, on one of my days off. Our producer is out of town for the next few days, and I overheard my assistant producer say she was going to be short staffed tomorrow, so I offered my help. KTLA is an environment I want to be in. It's something I love experiencing. At KTLA, I am actually doing and seeing what I want to do with my future. I had no idea I would get this much hands on experience. Though I am an intern, I am given duties and responsibilities that are actually vital in getting the morning show on air. In other words, if I file a tape wrong on the computer, the whole VO is messed up and the footage is missing. That type of pressure is intimidating, yes, but that feeling is quickly and easily drowned by the drive that ripples through me when I hear a task thrown in my direction. It is impossible not to be passionate about going to work at KTLA, because everyone there is so warm and welcoming. From jokes in the newsroom to laughter in the hallway, that place is a great place to be. 

I started writing today saying, "Ok, Bianca, this HAS to be shorter", but I said few words to little avail-what else is new? Off to Chipotle now to get mom and I salads, then it's the Akon/Colby O'Donis concert for us! Ha thats right....a friend of mine from home knows a guy in this new boy band in LA, Skyline, that's really taking off. In fact, they are opening up for the main event tonight! And if they do well, they will open for Lady Gaga this summer, too. I met my friend's friend in the band, a very nice guy from Chicago as well! Small world...So he got my mom and I tickets, and it should be a great night. Now all I gotta do is make a friend that knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who has two extra tickets to a Lakers game. Hmm...the wheels are turning ;)

xoxo B 

My first week in LA LA Land

Hello everyone. Just weeks ago I was finishing up my sophomore year at Mizzou, and next thing I know I wake up in a fabulous apartment on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles overlooking the Hollywood Hills. Has it all been a dream? Yes, but not the kind that you wake up from to merely find reality staring at you from your bedroom ceiling. This is the kind I have had since youth, since I could pick up a hair brush and force my family to watch me "perform" or whatever it was that I would call it. The kind I have been hoping for since I realized I was born (yes born) to be in front of the camera. The kind I thank God and my parents for each day that I have been lucky enough to live out at the age of 20.

Someone very wise at KOMU told me I should make a blog, a detailed account of what I see, do, feel, etc here in LA, not only for my portfolio, but also for myself. So here I am, sprawled out on my couch next to my oversized window, my apartment to the left of me, the sun lighting up the Hollywood Hills to my right, my pink laptop resting on my legs.  

Take away my teased hair, seemingly permanent lipstick, and occasional high heels, and I really am a simple girl with two goals in life: 1. fall in love and live happily ever after and 2. have a successful career. Seeing that the former is out of my control and best left to the hands of God (as I have learned), I have decided to take the latter into my own hands, something I know is the one and only way TO have a successful career. And that is exactly what led me to Los Angeles this summer. 

I am interning at KTLA, a news station in Hollywood, for the next two and a half months. I will be in their Entertainment Department. KTLA was actually the first commercially licensed TV station west of the Mississippi River. I recently got home from my orientation, an experience that left me more than eager to begin my first real day this coming Wednesday, June 3rd. 

The orientation started off as a success when I correctly followed the complicated directions to the parking lot. Being great at directions is not what I hope to someday get my star put on Hollywood Boulevard for, let's just say that. So, needless to say, I was very proud of myself as I walked onto the station grounds seeing countless people asking the guard for directions to the parking lot. In general, I have felt like I have matured and learned a lot in the past few weeks and months of my life, for one reason or another, but more on that another day. It just makes me feel proud to see me slowly but surely transforming into the best version of myself that I can be, something I know takes people years, but at least I know I am on my way. 

At the orientation, the interns and I  were introduced to the Manager and Director of the station, the head of Human Resources, and other people of this caliber that we should know. The manager started off telling us how we interns were selected out of over 300 applicants. We were then offered countless pieces of advice that I will take with me not only through this internship, but through life as well. Something that resonated with me was being told that,  working in the Entertainment Industry, you might as well be on the gridiron. I was baffled by this concept until he kept talking, explaining how everyday you will be getting hit, needing to block, competing for that coveted position that we know only one person can fill. This made all too much sense to me. Overall, what I took away from every speech I heard today was that this industry is the most unique, for everyday is cut throat, competitive...yet fun. How can that be, you may ask? How can something as difficult as breaking into this industry be FUN? Well, as my dad always says, "If you love your job you never work a day in your life." There you go. I LOVE entertainment news. I LOVE performing. And I am an exceedingly passionate person. Combine all that, and I personally believe you have the recipe for an entertainment journalist. I believe I proved my recipe successful when I answered the question shot at me today leaving my interrogator looking both shocked and impressed, something else I was proud of today. :)

The staff asked who was interning in the Entertainment Department, and I, along with others, raised my hand. He chose me, asking, "What does that mean to you?" Yah, exactly. A very vague and open-ended and could-go-any-route question. But, give me the ball and watch what I do with it. I chose honesty, what I have been taught is the best policy:

I began by saying that I respect Entertainment Journalism, and it is vital that one in this field RESPECTS this field. There are too many people who believe this "stuff" is all "fluff". I continued on to say that, at Mizzou, I have been taught that a journalist's duty is to give citizens not what they want, but what they need. I believe that citizens need to be well rounded and well balanced in the retrieval of their news. Far too many believe they are above celebrity "gossip", better than Paris Hilton, and too educated to hear about this industry. To those people I say this: The average American watches approximately 6 hours of TV a day. What does that mean? That means that the average American sets ratings. That means that the reason why the entertainment industry pays celebrities as it does and is as successful as it is is because of the average American. Entertainment journalism is entertainment journalism. People cannot pick and choose when they want to be a part of it. "Well,  Lost is on tonight so I'm gonna watch that, but this stupid reporting on celebrity couples is nonsense." Not only is that attitude ignorant, its illogical. The emphasis society puts on entertainment (movies, sports, TV shows, music) directly and  collaboratively creates the emphasis journalists put right back on it. Clearly this is a topic I am passionate about! Granted, I chose to express my thoughts in a significantly fewer amount of words in my answer this afternoon, but I got my point across. 

So give me a parking pass, my name-tag for around my neck, and I was good to go. That concluded my first KTLA experience. I am in for the rest of the evening. I am going to take Daphne (did I forget to say my sister's adorable yet should-be-named-Cujo morkie is in LA  with me???) to the top of the parking lot to the "Barking Lot" where she can do her business on the fake patch of turf for all Sunset and Vine's canine friends. Tomorrow my mom and I (did I forget to say my mom is in LA with me??? Yes thats right, I am lucky enough to have my best friend here with me as well until I get completely settled in) are going to the beach.

So as I sit here and look at the sun setting over those Hollywood Hills that words cannot begin to  do justice to, I can't help but think that this indeed does feel right. This summer is going to be the perfect taste of the life I THINK I want to live. If nothing else, I hope this helps me decide more specifically what I want to do with my future. Will I end up in California? Will I be an anchor for a celebrity news show? Will I ever accomplish that first and foremost goal on my list? I dont know, Im only 20. I dont know where I will end up, or who I will end up with, or what color my business cards will be (ok, well I'm actually looking into getting some made and they will probably be pink, lets be serious) but there are a few things, as of June 1st, 2009, I do KNOW. True to form, I made a list.

1. I will fight for what I believe in and what I want in life, because I KNOW nothing good and worthwhile comes easy.

2. Only the strong survive in LA, and I KNOW I have that strength in me. 

3. I KNOW you are lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand. 

4. Laying on my death bed, I KNOW I will have done everything on my bucket list, because that is just the kind of life I want to live: no regrets, because I firmly feel that regret is the worst feeling in the world. 

5. DEFIANCE. COURAGE. ACTION. Words on the Livestrong billboard outside my window that I KNOW I will live by from this stage of my life forward. 

6. If I could only eat 3 things for the rest of my life, I KNOW they would be Coldstone's Birthday Cake Remix, hot sourdough bread and butter, and Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza. 

7. "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale". This one...I can't explain. In my heart, I just KNOW. 

That's all for today. I will be back with more updates when I can, when things slow down a bit in LA LA Land. :) Until then: live, laugh, LOVE. 

xoxo B