Final Post-dont know why its dbl spaced, swear its not as long as it looks. Plus youve made it this far, are u really not gonna read the last post....

Leaving California was odd. And when I say odd, I mean as in not what I expected. But then again, I should’ve expected this because life never ceases to surprise me. I don’t know, I guess I thought I would be crying and clinging to my couch, slowly walking with leaden legs, thinking of every reason NOT to get on the road. But for some reason, I kind of was the opposite. I asked my mom to have my apartment packed up by the time I was back from KTLA and an interview I had, and I single handedly loaded up my car with speed that my dad would’ve been proud of. I then suggested we grab In-n-Out and eat on the road instead of having one last sit down dinner like my mom suggested. I also noticed that my personality had hardened a bit, to the point where I was a bit snappy to my mom and giving her attitude, which is not normal for us. All of the above…very odd.

So there I was, on the 101 South, mom behind the wheel, me staring out my window in silence. What is even more odd is that I knew exactly why I was having this odd behavior. Once on the road, with no busy activities to distract me, my psychology classes could not escape me, and I knew what was up. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but it always seems that, for me at least, when something is wrong, I take it out on the person I am closest with, my mom. She’s even told me this before. I once read that we’re not afraid to hurt or be mean to people that we know truly love us because we trust them and trust that their feelings and opinions about us wont change…a.k.a, they’ll love us unconditionally, no matter what, no matter how we treat them. It’s kind of weird to think of it that way, but I think that is true. Sometimes we displace our emotions on the person we know will be a punching bag…..a punching bag that will forgive us when we take off our gloves and swallow our pride and apologize. But at any rate, after putting everything together, I realized that I really think I was afraid to say goodbye to California. I know that sounds corny, and maybe it is. But when we crossed the border and California summer ’09 officially became a memory, I turned and apologized to my mom and finally cried the tears that were long overdue. And that’s how I know that the hardened, fast paced exterior I exhibited earlier was just that…an exterior. I’ve never been one to hide my feelings and not be honest to myself or others about what I was feeling, good or bad, so that’s why, as I started with, leaving California was odd.

But this summer was perfect. It was everything a summer should be: full of adventure, spontaneous, exciting, a learning experience, a bit scary, and fun...

I recall the night before me first day at KTLA, when I couldn’t sleep because I was so nervous about the next day. I wanted so badly to do well and impress everyone at the station, that the unavoidable fear of failure that most passionate people have was getting the best of me. Thankfully, my mom was in Cali still at this point, and, as she always does, she calmed me down and eased my nerves, reminding me of how much work I have put into my schooling and myself thus far in my life that will no doubt lead me to being a success at KTLA.

Well, it must really be true that every battle is won before it is even fought, because Mom was right, this summer was a success. Though I came away with a substantial amount of newfound knowledge, I know the tool belt I entered with really solidified my path, and I thank my family and my educators for that. Everyday, I promised myself I would go to KTLA and smile like I knew how to smile, laugh like I knew how to laugh, and work hard like I knew how to work hard, because those are three defining things about me that I am really proud of: my optimistic outlook on life, my not-funny-but-somehow-still-seem-to-make-people-laugh-jokes, and my work ethic. If I brought that to the table, no matter the outcome, I would consider the summer a success. Well, it seemed to pay off, because from exchanging numerous business cards with producers and anchors to being offered an intern spot at KTLA next summer to landing an interview at FOX Sports to discuss potential internships as well, I am back in Missouri with the same smile, laugh, and work ethic…plus a whole lot more I am so thankful for. I really do believe in fate, but I also really do believe that it is possible to make your own luck, or at least try and set yourself up to be lucky. From the contacts I have made to the inside perspective of the industry I now have, I think I am on my way.

As I was saying goodbye to an editor at KTLA that has really taken me under his wing and been a mentor to me this past summer, he told me he wanted to leave me with one final piece of advice. He said that there are three things that anyone can do in life to be truly happy. He said to wake up each morning and aim to accomplish them, and at night, when you are alone with you and your thoughts, reflect to see if you actually did: 1. Each day, go towards who and what makes you happy 2. Each day, try and steer clear of who and what will cause you pain and 3. Try and do both of those things without hurting anybody else. Always the impressionable sponge, I really took those words to heart. In fact, I had a whole 25-hour drive to think about that, and it makes a lot of sense. I had a whole summer of glimpsing the career I hope to have some day. And now I have a whole life to try and achieve that. And in doing so, I will remember, as my mentor at KTLA wisely told me, that a successful end only tastes sweet if the means were honorable. In this industry, especially, there are too many “shortcuts” and “easy roads”, but I have never been one to be impressed by those types of means. I think those three things to attempt every day were probably the best knowledge I am taking away from California. Because, after all, happiness-true happiness- seems to be the thing that eludes most people, so any advice on how to attain that should be valued.

Well, I’m back in Missouri. The sun is a bit too hot, the air a bit too humid, and the ocean a bit too far away. But my friends and my family have never felt closer, so I can say I am happy. And there is something really comforting and cozy about this good 'ole state of Missouri. The blog days are over. To anyone who read this, thank you very much. Good luck on a new school year. Until we meet again, Cali…goodbye. :)